Monday, January 12, 2009

"Help! There's a Uniboob Growing Out of My Neck!"


Imagine my dismay when I noticed my uniboob popping out from the neckline of the back of my new black and white tweed coat!

And, it isn't the only coat that has uniboobs growing. My casual black coat also has an enormous uniboob. I mean with such a huge long uniboob, it's a wonder I don't trip on it when I walk backwards!!!

But, it doesn't stop there, many of my shirts and sweaters have, well, little duoboobbies popping out too. It can be rather embarrassing.

All this talk about uniboobs and duoboobies, you would think that they are universal enough, a common term that everyone can relate with. However, I realize that I probably should explain, define uniboob and duoboobies.

A uniboobie is a malfunction that occurs in the cloth near the center of the neckline of your clothing. The cloth becomes stretched and tends to point upward and outward. Duoboobies occur in pairs where one perky bunching of clothing pops up from one of each shoulder.

Uniboobies and duoboobies can be dangerous and will destroy your wardrobe if they are not handled correctly.

I need your help!

Do you know of a cure to this problem? Have you been a victim of this clothing boob phenonomen and can share ways that you have coped or overcome the destruction of this fashion faux-pas, please comment below!

Better yet, if you would like to include a link to photos of your own fashion let downs, please include it in the comment. No rated R photos please - it isn't that kind of blog!

Thanks! And, together, maybe we can put an end to uniboobs and duoboobies for all womankind!

4 comments:

The Mom said...

I get uniboob wearing a sports bra...one long rectangular-ish blob...don't like it!

AC said...

Uh Oh! You're right, I get a case of the sports-bra uniboob too! I was actually referring to another problem though.

Seems there is some confusion on what a uniboob and uniboobies are... Let me see if I can post a photo... Stay tuned Jen the Mom!

Don't change the channel on the uniboob tube yet! (that wan't even funny, why do I say things like that? sorry!)

Doublebanker said...

Had to check out your Bourdain ad.

No uni or duo boobies here...thank god! :)

Elizabeth Channel said...

OK, I think I've finally got this. I have a holiday sweater that exhibits this ailment because I hand-washed it and then hung it on a hanger and it's got took "pooks" above the shoulders. Is that what you mean? Once I find my camera battery I'll take a photo to show you.