Sunday, September 21, 2008
Sunday Scribbling: Invitation
When I hear about someone having a birthday party I can't help but wonder why my daughter didn't get an invitation. It is always an awkward conversation too. It is like my friend will mention something that happened at the party assuming that we knew about the party and then once she sees the look of surprise on my face she'll try to change the subject. I try to act all nonchalant but inside it nags at me. It's not like it has only happened once or twice. She is in the first grade and I know of at least four instances where Sienna was not included to a play date or party of some sort.
What is wrong with you people? Do you think that my daughter is too hyper and she will be disruptive? Are you worried that she is contagious? Don't our kids connect? Does your child not like my daughter? Do the parents not like me?
But the most bitter thought I have is: Does my daughter know and does she care?
Because, if she doesn't care, then that means that she is oblivious to the social scene. Part of that notion is OK, but part of that is a problem because it is like she doesn't connect, or attach to friendships. I know she is lonely.
So, if she does care and she knows about the party her other classmates were invited to but she was not, then how do I explain that to her when I don't even understand?
Sure, I can pretend it doesn't matter and try to redirect her. But she is very intelligent and she will see right through me.
Her birthday is coming soon. Last year, she invited her entire class plus other kids too. We had a pony rides in our back yard. Maybe I went overboard. Maybe that is why the kids don't invite her because they think we are show-offs. I don't know.
I do know this. I want my daughter to know that she is loved and welcomed. I want her to feel like she is part of a group other than her own family. I want her to have sleep overs and send notes to her girlfriends between classes. I want her to get invitations to parties and play dates. I want her to enjoy her childhood.