Happy Happy Thanksgiving!!!

So excited that I have managed my circumstance and am no longer a Thanksgiving holiday victim! You may recall my previous post when I described my grief that my in-laws don't celebrate the holidays with much festive fancy.

Well, the new and improve Moi has discovered a way to promote the holiday hurrah without being a Miss Fancy Pants over at the in-laws! I have decided that I will still attend the in-law's family dinner on Thanksgiving of course. Family is very important to me! And, I will offer to bring whatever blah-menu item from a can that my mother-in-law would like me to bring such as SPAM and crackers, canned cheese or canned ham or green bean casserole -whatever - I will be a good sport!

However, the evening before this Thursday family feast, I have invited some friends who are without families during the holidays. They are invited to join me and my family at 6:00 p.m. for dinner. I hope to have the formal dining hall room set for their arrival. I will even attempt at preparing a turkey along with other fancy trimmings. I am thinking perhaps of making some beautiful acorn squash, caesar salad, a roasted turkey, buttered corn, warm bread and maybe some oyster dressing, a recipe from my mother's father. Just brainstorming for now! Most of the joy I find in dinners like this is the planning and preparation!

I am looking online and through my magazines for crafty name plates that my kids can be making this afternoon! More than the new development that I get to make a family traditional meal this holiday,I am realizing the numerous gifts I have to be thankful this year:

- Thankful for all I have learning in my parenting this year. I have realized many things about my children. I have been fortunate to bond with my daughters in ways I have not been able to in the past years. I love being a mom who gets to stay home and I love the mom I have become just in the past year!

- Thankful for family both in our nuclei and my in-laws. Yes, I complain about them from time to time but overall they are a blessing to both me and especially my daughters! They also have had the opportunity to bond with them and they have developed a special relationship together!

- Thankful for my home. For God to bring us to this small town and place us in this home was one of my favorite gifts he has given me! I love my home. I am finally, after over a year of living here starting to take pride in decorating it and giving it our own personality.

- Thankful for my new experiences and relationships I have gained in the blogosphere! I have met some great friends and have read some personal stories, comments and tweets that have lift my spirits with ROFL (rolling on floor laughter), inspired and encouraged me. For this, I started a Thanksgiving tag although it might be too cheesy for anyone else to want to play. See previous post down below for the rules!

Sadness in Shoulders

I feel the sadness in shoulders.
Weighted and worn from the burdens,
Stretched and sore from the history of rejection and sadness.

Woefully I wonder. Desperately I hope to find a refuge
Free from folly, foes and pranks.
A day when the sun rises from the east and speaks
Clearly. Directly. Encouraging me.

"Mind no matter what they say, what they do and what the leave you.
Keep the best, in you and by you.
Breathe in the breath from your creator. Renew your weakened soul.
Lift your gaze to the northern hills, outrageously alive and creatively refreshed.
Blessed and rebirthed, the gift has been given, sealed and forever yours.
His Will is for you to know you are loved by Him, His Son and Spirit.
This world is passing, sadness fleeting, burdens will no longer be shared."

October Tree

October tree you bring a sense of comfort to my soul. Comfort from your stability, robust and bursting with beauty. There you stand, waving in the fall breeze to me, golden and stoic, friendly and true.

How many years have you grown in that spot? How many seasons have passed you by? How many leaves cover you up then drop when the breezes blow by?

One year to the next, I move at a blazing pace wondering and waiting to change all while needing to stand, tall in one place as you do, stand fearless and still not bending to wind, the moon or a mood on somebody's face.

October tree you let me be me. You remain yet change, you give yet take both beauty and awe you are and will forever be.

Creative Writing by Andrea Cook, Crazy Jugs
Photography by Tammy Warren, A Day to Share with Tammy

God Put a Song in My Heart for My Children

When I was pregnant with Sienna, I can remember a song would come up in my head all the time. "Trust in the Lord," or "Proverbs 3" was a song that Six Pence None the Richer released around the time I had first started to call myself a Christian. Several years later, it was a song that started to play in my heart and mind whenever I was nervous or anxious about my pregnancy. That was an important song to me at the time because I was eight months pregnant, working from my office on the 73rd floor of the Sears Tower during 9/11.

"Trust in the Lord, with all of your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways, acknowledge Him and He will carry you through. Lord, sometimes it gets so tough to keep my eyes on you when things are going rough. But then I lift my eyes up to the skies and I hear your voice. It says to me: Trust in the Lord, with all of your heart..."

This was the same melody my soul clanged onto during the 28 hours of labor and it was the truth I was reminded of when Sienna was taken into NICU right after delivery when the cord was wrapped around her neck and she turned blue. We didn't get to see her for several hours following delivery and we had no idea what was going on.

This is also the song that keeps ringing in my soul throughout the past six years raising a daughter on the autism spectrum with all of her unpredictable mood swings and other special needs. There are many moments that I have no idea how to parent her correctly. I don't know how to soothe her like she needs because she won't allow me to touch her, hold her, hug her or rock her to sleep. "He will carry you through..."

Since school has started earlier this fall, I have seen her stress levels sky rocket and today was one of her most stressful home-from-school-tantrums I have seen! From 3:00 until bed time, her moods were more unpredictable than the DOW Jones. She growled at me throughout the evening, scratched her sister in the bath tub and cried caustically as she banged her head on the wall or slapped herself in the face.

Miraculously, I was able to get the both girls down to bed. As I was tucking Sarah in, I sang to her the love song that God put in my heart for her ever since she was in the womb. That song is from Psalm 51 and it is a hymnal called, "Create in Me a Clean Heart." She is only two years old so I am not really sure why that song was selected for Sarah but I do know that God has branded that one on my heart just for her.

I then ventured to Sienna's bedroom. I knelt at her bed side. I softly touched her forehead and caressed her bangs ever so gently. I whispered, "Have I ever told you about the song God put in my heart when he created you?" She looked so sad but at this very moment, sighed a breath of redemption and held her tears back. I explained how much the song had helped me when I was scared or anxious or stressed when I was pregnant, "Whenever things get rough or tough, I pray this song in my heart and soul." I sang it to her and she smiled at me, softly and peacefully. We connected, both with one another and together with God.