ADHD Support

WANTED: Mothering Advice for Raising My Child with ADHD


I have a lot of mixed emotions lately about my parenting skills. I have a daughter, age 7. She has been diagnosed with PDD-NOS which is on the autism spectrum. I have done a lot of research, read a lot of books and been involved with a lot of support groups on this matter. During her last assessment, the doctor advised me to not focus on the PDD-NOS as much anymore because she wasn't exhibiting the problems that tend to follow that disorder as much as she was with the ADHD and Mood Disorders. She suggested that I get more informed on those subjects. That appointment was about 8 months ago and I haven't really done much since then as I am still trying to sort it all out!

Lately, I have been feeling very confused about being a mom. I don't feel like I got the memo that was passed out, or maybe my What to Expect books didn't come with the right chapters. I see other moms who seem so natural at raising their children. I am very hard on myself because I am educated, empathetic and feel like I have tried and given so much to my family. Yet, as much as I give, nothing seems to satisfy my family's needs.

It was during this past weekend, our pediatrician advised that we increase my daughter's medication dosage. So, we did. I am also on the same medication and need an increased dosage. We both started the medication, Vyvanse last fall. We were prescribed the lowest dosage for our weight. When we first started on it, we noticed results. But, after about three months, I realize that we need more. I hope this isn't an ongoing tolerance issue to a prescription drug, but that isn't the point of my post here, so allow me to get back on topic... Also, I have learned recently that I have also struggled with ADHD my entire life, yet it wasn't until recently in discovering my daughter's deficits that I also had ADHD. Another post for another day!

Last night, after realizing how exhausted I was from the multiple prompts that were needed to get my daughter to do a simple task like brush her teeth or get out of the tub, I realized that I needed some help. at her. Now, if you have been reading my blog, you know that I have been working oI am thinking of looking into a parent support group for ADHD or something like that.

I have talked with my daughter and have told her that we need to work together to come up with ways for her to listen and obey me so that I don't have to yell. If you have been reading my blog, you will know that I have been Scream-Free for a few months now. I am proud of myself in this accomplishment. However, I feel like my daughter will only hear me if I scream at her. And, I do NOT want to do that. I want guide her. I want her to flourish.

Can I still guide her without having to yell? Will she be able to flourish and not feel like she is broken or disabled, unable to help herself without the use of medication or being yelled at?

I really am reaching out here. I strive to be a good mommy to her, and to my youngest, who by the way in the midst of being potty trained. Wow! Talk about will power for a mom. I am rewarding her with 3 M&Ms every 30 minutes she keeps her training pants dry... Today is day 7! I will be so proud of her once we accomplish the potty scene. Moreover, I will be proud of myself. I need something to make me feel accomplished these days. I miss my professional rewards big time. Wow, I really digress. Now, I must go, it appears there has been pee spotted, but, it is NOT in the potty, only on the carpet. Must go...

I support Autism Twitter Day! Will you?

Parenting two children on the spectrum, I have felt like a klutz since my first push during labor! Since spawning my first kiddo over seven years ago, I have been on a journey of motherhood unlike any other.

Although there are no manuals that can teach any mom how to parent their special child, caring for a child with special needs - specifically, a child on the autism spectrum can be especially surreal. Every day, the needs change. From the time my children were babies I have tried to figure it all out.

Now, after endless hours of research covering a variety of syndromes and disorders, I have feared the possibility along with the reality while parsing the relative information from stacks and stacks of professional recommendations and diagnoses covering Parenting, Strong-Willed Children, Autism, Fragile X, Asperger's, PDD-NOS, ADHD, Bi-Polar Spectrum, Gifted, Sensory Integration, Sensory Disorder, etc. My husband and I have had to change our career paths and life styles and have had to learn to budget our time and money so that we won't go into debt and/or divorce over the countless recommended interventions and therapies from brushing, diets, balls, vests, blankets, swings, social games and groups, squeezy thingies, bouncy doo higgies and artsy fartsy fun. Some of these items have applied for our needs at some of the times, but all of this has been overwhelming, border line new-age-voo-doo to us to say the least!

Then, there are the teachers, family and friends and foes who tell us that there is nothing wrong with our children and that we need to just be better parents. At times, I am tricked and confused by their comments. For whatever their personal reasonings, I have had to learn to desperately grip on to that teeny tiny motherly instinct that has not yet faded away and I think I am the only one who truly knows my daughters and their core needs!

I have earned infinite invisible degrees and badges of honor as a mom to a seven- and two year old on the spectrum and God still has much more to teach me. I love my kids. And I want to help them as best as I can by understanding their needs and educating others in our family and community. I look forward to joining in on the discussions that will be shared on the inaugural Autism Twitter Day!

Can you join us?

Autism Twitter Day, Tuesday, December 16, three times throughout the day, 9:00 a.m., noon, and 8:00 p.m. PST. Prizes for young adults with autism or asperger syndrome will be given away during these twitter sessions!

Whether your immediate family has been impacted by autism or if you know someone who has, you are welcome to participate. There is never a day off for the mothers, fathers, siblings and friends who support a person with autism. Here is a chance to gain support, understanding and resources that can help you navigate your life!

Come and join in on the discussions. A variety of topics will be shared on how to best handle those curve balls that the spectrum disorder tosses in to your daily life ranging from:

family dynamics,
from the bus to the classroom,
behavior,
variety of therapies,
special diets,
social skills,
independent living,
self care and hygiene.
bullying,
IEPs,
respite,
books, toys, etc. that have helped your family.

This includes sharing links to your sites and blog posts.

Hope to see your avatar there! Sweet Tweeting! Visit Autism Family Adventures to learn more about the event and to RSVP today!

Autism Family Adventures: RSVP for Autism Twitter Day

Help Find the Mitt

The current school system that we are in does not recognize my daughter's ASD, Mood Disorder or ADHD. In fact, despite the three professional medical diagnoses that we have submitted to them from Chicago, Indianapolis and locally, the schools psychologist suggests that I the parent get some parenting classes or counseling.

This was the schools suggestion from last fall when my daughter started Kindergarten here. Although we brought a solid IEP from Chicago, they still look the other way and I feel like an over neurotic mother who, as I have been told via an email from my daughter's Kindergarten teacher, "troubled my daughter into having so much stress from taking her to doctor after doctor for unnecessary testing."

Now, the first grade teacher sent a Build-a-bear home with my daughter on Friday. It was dressed in a baseball outfit. Cute. We were supposed to take the bear with us all weekend, take a photo of the bear doing stuff with us and my daughter was to journal the activities. All of that in one weekend. Monday morning, I get a call from the teacher saying that the bear was missing the ball and little mitt. I search the house high and low. Luckily, I did find the ball. The mitt however is missing. I ask my daughter about it and it is like she is deaf. I asked her about it several times and each time she looks just as confused. The mitt is no where in our house. I don't recall even seeing the mitt and neither does my daughter. But, the teacher insists on the mitt being returned.

So, Supermom says, "I will order a new one." The teacher responds as if to tell me, "Of course you will..."

I can't figure out if I am angrier at my daughter for losing the stupid mitt, the teacher for not having enough grace to let the issue rest or my financial circumstances being so tight that a mitt will mean that I don't buy cereal for the week. Then, I visit the Build-a-bear website and find that the mitt is OUT OF STOCK.

What do I do now?

Meanwhile, I have samples of Lexapro in my purse that my doctor gave me this morning. I can't decide if I should start on medication again. I don't think that my depression is that bad. Although I am blogging about a stupid mitt. I can't solve my own problems right now. I can't even get myself organized enough to make myself lunch. Guess perhaps I do need the Rx after all. But what can I do about the STUPID STUPID MITT???